Shining the Light of Love into the Forgotten Shadow Self

Tulum, Mexico, May 4, 2022 — Last night I had my first 5Rhythms(R) dance experience. Being in Tulum, a light portal where all inner work is amplified, radically intensified, I experienced my intention for the dance unfold and continue to reveal itself well into the veil of night.

I want to belong to my body. That has been my intention for some time. I want to feel safe and whole. I want to feel the light of my inner beingness shine through. I no longer want to hide. I want to radiate. I want to be free to express myself without limitation. Without self judgement or criticism. Without worrying whether I am too big or too much or too of anything for the others in the room. I want to live embodied. Confident in who I am. Sure of that. Unwavering in my love and acceptance of self.

These intentions came bursting through me in so many shapes and forms. Speaking somatically from the body, sounding the voices of the feelings that had yet to make an expression in this world. Rapturous anger. Powerful stoking of the inner flame. The dance between life and death, light and shadow, masculine and feminine. The paradox of being chaotic and in order merged within me. Integrated. Forming a new dream. A new, yet oddly familiar me. The shadow I’d cast aside long ago, not daring be the fullest expressions of me, this other person walking along my side, unseen, unrecognized, unloved. I took her into me. I danced her expression. I threw myself in the mercy or her chaos. I danced through the valley of her pain. I saw her as a child and as a crone. And as we danced, merging our skins, the light shone between the spaces where love was once forbidden. That light carried us, carried me out of the valley and into the sun. Awakened soul, realized spirit. Dreams long since forgotten streaming forward in sine waves. Potential yet to be realized, having been replaced with the burdens of self perfection. Integrating the shadow, I am perfect. Exactly as I am. Flaws and all. Blemishes be welcome. For I am human and I am god. I am animal and plant; stone and water. All of the elements make up me. I flow like the river. I erupt like volcano. I soar like eagle. I play like dolphin. I make the most out of the time I have here. Not just here, in Tulum. Here on this earth. Living loud, living bold. Living me.